Far longer than forever
by MissSarahGranger
Summary: It is after the end of the war and even if the magical world lives in peace again this doesn't mean that everyone has found their peace. Many people feel lost and disorientated and there is one person who finds it particularly hard to cope. HG/SS
1. The beginning

**Hello guys,**

**mein name is Sarah and this is my first english FF.**

**Pairing is Hermione Granger/Severus Snape. **

**If you don't like it, don't read it!**

**Thank you at my Beta Claudia**.

**You simply the best:)**

The Beginning

It was the day of the final ball of the last year at Hogwarts.  
Two months ago Voldemort had finally fallen. It was a hard fight, but in the end there were only Harry and Voldemort still standing and Harry had defeated the Dark Lord with a death curse.  
Many people had died, too many people in Hermione's opinion.  
Ron was the only one out of the narrower circle of friends of Hermione and Harry, who had not survived the war. Harry handled the loss in a totally different way than Hermione.  
Harry still had Ginny, and the two had been a great comfort to each other. Hermione, on the other hand, had no one left.  
Voldemort had his Death Eaters kill her parents shortly before the battle began.  
She was completely alone. Tomorrow, after the ball, she would leave Hogwarts forever. She still had no idea where to go. The house of her parents had been burned down by Death Eaters and her parents had not left much for her. It would perhaps be enough money to pull through for two or three months, but she had to think of something urgently.  
As so often in the past months her thoughts circled around these things. She totally retreated into her shell, and scarcely showed up at the meals. She avoided contact with the other students, which wasn't too difficult, since no lessons had been given anymore. She spent most of her time outside on the lake and let her thoughts drift with the wind, but she never cried. She had not cried a single tear since the end of the war.  
She tried to repress the whole ordeal rather than shed any more tears, which was, in her opinion, the entirely wrong thing to do.  
So she sat once again at the lake, under cover of a large oak tree, as she did so often in the last hours, days and weeks.  
The ball would begin in two hours and she felt absolutely no desire to mingle with the crowd. Upstairs in her dormitory was a long black silk dress waiting for her, but the thought of it only brounght her on the verge of tears and she suppressed them vigorously. She would not cry, not at any price. Her parents had bought the dress, that now hung abandoned in her dorm room, last summer. Had they been still alive, they would have attended the ball together with her.  
_,Well, Hermione, it's not your first dream, that has been destroyed'_, she thought sarcastically, but she only wanted to justify her tears to herself.  
Slowly she rose from the grass and sauntered towards the castle.  
She kept her head lowered, fearing that just a single blow of the wind would make the tears come running in streams down her cheeks.  
And so she didn't notice the black figure heading her direction.  
THUD!  
Hermione squinted her eyes, as she landed rather ungently on her butt.  
She looked up and blinked at the figure standing before her.  
When she recognized who it was, her eyes widened.  
Standing before her was none other than Professor Severus Snape, the students' worst nightmare.  
Since the fall of Voldermorts he had not changed in any way, and so it was not surprising that Hermione paled faster than Harry could say Quidditch.

"Pro- Professor Sn-nape ... I ... it .." she stammered.  
"Miss Granger, can't you keep your eyes open?" He asked with a sneer clearly audible in his voice.  
"Of course, Sir, I am sorry, Sir." she muttered. Slowly she tried to pull herself to her feet until she felt a sharp pain in her ankle and noticed the odd angle at which her foot stuck out.  
With a moan she sagged back onto the floor.  
"What is Miss Granger?" Snape asked and Hermione lifted an eyebrow in bewilderment. Did she really her concern in his voice?  
"It's just my ankle, I think I might have sprained it."  
"Let me have a look at it," he said and held out his hand vigorously.  
Hermione could not believe her ears.

_,What is happening here?'_ she thought, confused.  
What has gotten into the potions master?

**Should I continue?**


	2. Conversations

**Hey guys,**

**Here I am with the new chapter :)**

**I hope, it is not to bad und you like it.**

**Please, have some insight , because I'm no English and I only had two years English at school.**

**Many thanks to the people who have give me feedback ;)**

2.Chapter Conversations

"Now, get up,Miss Granger!" Snape said impatiently.

She still stared at the hand he held out for her. Slowly she reached for it and let him help her up. She would have cried out in pain, but she only clenched her teeth instead. She would not compromise herself in front of him. Hopefully, the ankle was just sprained. The last thing she needed was a broken ankle constraining her from earning money during her holidays, and all that just because she had to bump into her professor. Slowly, they walked through the entrance hall and Hermione was more than glad that Snape had put an arm around her waist to support her. She was sure she would not have been able to stand on her own for even three seconds. Snape headed straight to the staircase that was leading to the dungeons and Hermione was inwardly puzzled for a moment. He wanted to take her to the dungeons??

'_And I thought, he'd take me to the hospital wing and have a look at my foot there.'_

As they arrived at his quarters, Snape muttered the password. The door swung open, and he led Hermione in. She looked around curiously.

'_Wow, I didn't think of him liking other colors besides black.' _

The living room was painted in a beautiful Bordeaux. Four dark wooden doors led out of the room. Hermione estimated that one of these doors would definitely lead to his bedroom and another to his private laboratory. Several shelves and cabinets were standing along the walls and the floor was laid-out with dark mahogany parquet. In the middle stood a big sofa in dark-red, with two matching chairs and a glass-table, which borders were also covered in mahogany like all furniture and the floor. This made the room appear quite elegant, but Hermione felt comfortable with it at once. Especially the large number of books in the shelves pretty impressed her. Snape took off his cloak and managed to help her out of hers. He put the cloaks onto the glas-table and helped her onto the seat. With a quiet moan, Hermione dropped into the pillows. Snape took another pillow, on which he laid down her injured foot. Afterwards he picked up the cloaks and went to the wardrobe left to the door they have entered the room through. These happenings silently and Hermione followed each step of Snape with watchful eyes and again she wondered what had gotten into her professor.

Something went terribly wrong when he was treating a student (especially a Griffindor!!) this kind.

While putting away the cloaks, he consistently threw furtive looks at her. He saw that she was in pain, but it was not just physical pain caused of her ankle.

No, it was much more a mental pain that he noticed. The agony that she felt inside. He had noticed that she had retreated more and more. Dark rings showed up under her eyes and she had lost at least 20 pounds. Her eye's brightness had completly vanished. The sparkle, when that inquisitiveness took over again. Everything had disappeared. It was not longer that lively, happy Griffindor sitting in front of him. Now he was looking at a young woman, who had experienced so much sorrow, he would not even want his worst enemy to feel, well probably except Voldemort. With large steps, he walked over to the sofa. He pulled a chair towards the sofa for himself, sat down and draw his attention to Hermione's foot.

"Miss Granger, this could hurt now.Tell me if the pain becomes unbearable."

She nodded silently before Snape took off her shoe slowly. A hissing sound came out of her mouth as he took off her shoe and her sock.

The ankle already had a bluish colour and Hermione could only suppress a cry of pain with great effort. She wasn't actually squeamish, but beside her psychic problems that simply beat everything today. Slowly, Snape felt her ankle and Hermione gave out a whimper.

"Does it hurt badly if I touch it?" Hermione clenched her teeth and nodded.

"Now, I think that you sprained your ankle rather badly. I will speak out a healing-spell and put some pain-relieving paste on it. Furthermore, judging your face, a pain-killing potion wouldn't be bad either." he remarked and finished his examination. Pliantly he got up from the chair and disappeared behind one of the doors.

When he came back after few minutes, he had a vial with a bluish gleaming liquid with him and a small pot alike. Again, he settled in the chair and passed the vial to Hermione.

"It is enough if you take ten drops of the drink. He will numb the pain for some time. Before you go to sleep, you take ten drops again. You should spare the foot furthermore the next days and I guess you won't be able to dance tonight either", he said and Hermione could hear the sarcasm once again in his last words.

"With whom should I dance", she muttered to herself and swallowed ten of the bitter tasting drops. Snape, who had just spoken the healing-spell, looked up stunned.

"Now, now Miss Granger. All of your annoying little Gryffindor friends have been looking forward to this ball. They haven't spoken of anything else for days and you sit here, not even breaking out in tears once, although I just told you that you cannot attend the ball?!" His voice was as cold as usual and if he had not put paste on, she would have believed that the friendly Snape had only been a dream.

"Now Miss Granger, I suggest that you sit here for a little while, until the paste takes effect and then I will take you to your tower. As far as I know you, you will you are willing to go to the ball in any case, don't you? Well, be that as it may. Would you like some tea?", he asked and the friendly Snape had suddenly returned. Hermione could not believed her ears. What kind of game was he playing?

"Gladly, Sir." Snape nodded and vanished behind another of the four doors. She assumed that one of those probably led to the kitchen. After short time he came back with a tray. He poured the tea into two cups and passed one to her. Hermione accepted the cup and clasped her hands around it. The heat and the scent that originated from the tea calmed down her nerves a little, since she was extremely tense because of Snapes strange behavior.

It was silent for a while and both drank their tea. It seemed Snape was far away in his thoughts, similarily, Hermione was. The issue of how to continue after school still bothered her.

"Tell me, Miss Granger, what are you planning to do after school? Such a brilliant head like you will definitely want to study, am I correct?", Snape suddenly asked and snapped her from her thoughts. Again, Hermione stared at him stunned. Had he just made her a compliment? He had not done so in the last seven years. She considered shortly, whether she should answer him or not, but then again she didn't want to ruin the friendly atmosphere with a defiant commentary.

"I had considered studying potions, but I don't think this will happen."

"Why?", came Snape's scarce question. Hermione drew breath deeply a few times. Should she really talk about it with Snape? On the other hand, what did she have to lose? Nothing!

"Well, I don't think that I can afford such an expensive study. First, I am homeless from tomorrow on and I honestly don't have any idea how to go on." Ashamed she lowered her gaze. Snape was confused for a moment. He didn't quite get it. Why should she be homeless? What about her parents?

"Miss Granger, why don't you return to your parents'? Besides, even if I am not your house-teacher, I never had the impression of you having problems at home."

"I... my parents were killed by Death Eaters short time before the last battle. They haven't left much for me. The house had been burned down completely and the only source of capital with them since the practice of my parents was directly next to the house", she said and could not hide the tremor in her voice.

'_Please, no tears. Anything, but don't cry.'_

"I don't have any more relatives and least of all any friends. Ron is dead and Harry and Ginny live alone in their mourning. They seemingly completely forgot that I, too, grieve." Snape said nothing more and again, they retreated into silence. Hermione watched him, he seemed to be thinking.

"Miss Granger, I would like to offer something to you. You are undoubtedly the best and smartest witch that Hogwarts had seen in the last 100 years, if not at all since the founders themselves. You could do your potions-study here, with me. Moreover, you would have a place to stay and I could also employ an assistant since I would like to do some research after the summer-vacation beside the classes."

Hermione paused for a moment letting the proposal settle. Severus Snape, most hated teacher of Hogwarts, offered her to study with him at Hogwarts??? 'Hermione, you should wake up from this dream now.' She inconspicuously pinched herself only to find that it was not a dream but pure reality. "Professor...I... I don't know what to say. I appreciate your offer and I would be happy to accept it. What will the headmistress say and will it be okay that I study here? I won't have to do then at a university? Not that I wanted to question your proficiency", she stammered shyly.

"I believe, professor McGonagall won't have any reason to object. Especially since you would be working as my assistant, not hers. As for the study, you should not worry. I assert a claim of myself beingone of the best in my profession and with your outstanding certificates it will be quite easy to convince the ministry that you can complete you study much better here."

"I don't know what to say."

"What about 'Yes?'"

"Yes Sir. I would love to study here with you and become your assistant", she whispered, overpowerd by the feeling of happiness, that closed in on her.

'_There may be bursting dreams, but then others become true instead.' _

"Great. Then I would suggest that you stay in Hogwarts during the vacation. And we could then start with some potions. What do you think?"

"Very gladly, professor. May I ask what the potions will be for?"

"Now, since you are from the world of muggles, you may have heard of an illness called cancer, right?"

"Yes, indeed I heard of it."

_'How couldn't I, after my grandparents died painfully of cancer years ago.'_

"I would like to look for new potions that slows down or even stops the cance, or the tumor-growth respectively. In the past years, many wizards and witches died of it because at the beginning nobody even knew what kind of illness it was. Many wizards and witches have not heard of it until today. Therefore, the research really didn't progress well."

"I am pleased to help you with these researches. It will be an honor for me."

"Now Miss Granger, I am glad to hear it. How about you joining me for a Dinner at my quarters tomorrow evening? We could discuss details then, because now I guess you want to get ready for the ball."

"Yes professor, gladly. I will leave immediately."

"Are you going to walk?" Mockingly he pulled up an eyebrow.

"I think that I would better let you levitate to the Gryffindor tower. The healing spell needs time, until it completely works and because of the potion I gave you your legs should feel like pudding right now. But don't worry. You will be able to run again until the ball begins, at least rudimentary.", he said, and she was certain to have heard a sneering undertone. Snape went to the cloakroom, put his cloak on and handed Hermione hers. After she had put it on, Snape approached her.

"You may choose. Either I let you levitate through the school or we take the flea-network and I will carry you."

"If I should be honest, then I'd prefer the latter.", she answered, and a tender pink appeared on her cheeks. It was a little embarrassing for her that Snape took care of her like this.

"As you wish." He stepped forward, put one arm under her knees, the other around her shoulders and lifted her up.

'By Merlin, she doesn't weigh anything.' he thought and headed for the chimney. He climbed into the blazing flame and said loud and clear: "Gryffindor common room."

A swirl of colors and forms made everything rotate in her head. Unconsciously, she pressed herself on the warm body of her professor.

"You can now open your eyes again, and I would also appreciate if you would stop digging your nails into my chest.", professor Snape's voice hissed.

Blushing Hermione opened her eyes and immediately let go of him. How embarrassing! Swiftly he put her down on her feet, but this didn't help to stop spinning in her head and so she swayed and looked around frantic for a hold. Quickly Snape wound his arms around her waist as she threatened to fall.

"It probably wasn't such a good idea to use the flea-network", he muttered to himself. Hermione grasped at her head with a moan. Everything turned before her eyes.

'My, what a day. You can really forget the ball. But on the other hand it wouldn't make any difference more either if I get drunk. My head is buzzing no matter what.'

"Miss Granger, come on. I'll take you to your dormitory. You are lucky that no one is in the common room right now, otherwise I would have left long ago.

'Typical Snape, he cannot be nice once in his life!'

Slowly the spinning in her head stopped and Snape led her to the dormitory.

"Now Miss Granger, I think we will certainly see each other at the ball. Remember our Dinner tomorrow. Seven O'clock, my quarters and be punctual." Hermione became another nuance paler around the nose. "Don't worry, this will be no imposition tomorrow.", he mocked. Was that a grin that twitched around the corners of his mouth?

"Of course, Sir." Hermione turned around confused and vanished in her dormitory. She was unsure whether her senses betrayed her.

Snape seemed totally replaced. 'Does he have twin-brother, whom I don't yet know?'

Everything was so strange. She decided to find out about the matter in the near future but first she had to get ready for the ball. She didn't know,that, many floors farther below, in the dungeons, her potions-teacher sat and pondered the same things she did. What was wrong with him?

He was not only friendly to her, no he had offered her a job as well and had made her his assistant. He had behaved so completely differently. Albus would, had he been still alive, probably now have hold lectures again that he would have to endorse human proximity and blah, blah, blah. But his behavior put him in a very strange mood and he would have to take a deeper look at this issue.

It could hardly be that Harry Potter would leave the school this year, as well as his hopeless lost friend Neville Longbottom. Could it be, in the end, that Hermione Granger was the cause of all this??

**Should I continue?**


	3. Memories

3

3. Chapters memories 

Hermione put the last strand of hair with a clip in her high hairdo.

Thoughtfully, she looked in her dormitory into the big mirror. She wore a black, full-length dress, which was tied up at the stomach and changed into a wide skirt from the waistline. The dress was strapless and the upper edge was embroidered with rubies.

Because of her sprained ankle she had transformed her high heels into ballerinas.

She had her hair pinned up to an artistic hairdo with some curly strands falling loosely into her face. Her Make-up was easy; consisting only of brown lid-shadow, little rouge and pink lip gloss. Hermione accessorily wore ruby coloured earrings matching to her necklace.

What would her partens may say if they could now see her? Would they be proud of her? After all, she had contributed to the peace in the magic-world as well. Yes, the peace, the magic-world lived in peaces, but she still had not found peace herself. Would she find it at all?

Flashback beginning

"You filthy, rotten mud-blood. Do you seriously believe that you could be a match for me?" Lucius Malfoys voice sounded cold. An icy shiver ran Hermione's back down. Nothing but duels were going on around her.

"Ido not only believe it, I know it.", she replied with solid voice. Malfoy roared with laughter.

"Crucio!", he suddenly screamed and and Hermione momentarily fell on the ground and started to squirm with pain. She screamed with might and main.

Slowly Malfoy stepped forward and took the curse of her.

"It will be a joy for me to torment you until you beg for death. Crucio!" She cried again, but no one came to help her. Everyone was involved in a fight. Malfoy even put the Cruciatus further four times on her. Blood already ran out of Hermione's mouth, because she had bit her tongue, and her body still bent under the after-effects of the curse.

"Say farewell to this world. Avada Kedavra!"Malfoy's voice whispered and Hermine colsed her eyes.

"Noooo!" She opend her eyes again like as a reflex and just saw that somebody met the green flash of light and sank on the ground. Activating her last energy, she pointed her magic wand at Malfoy and put "stupefy" and a full-body-clinch on him.

Slowly, she crawled to the person, who had saved her from death. She saw the flaming red hair and cried out.

"RON! NOOO, NOT YOU! OPEN YOUR EYES, RON!" Sobbing, she lay her head down on Ron's chest. His eyes were torn wide open, his body already icy. Hermione did not really notice the fights anymore. She neither took notice of Harry's triumph over Voldemort, nor did she notice the Aurors capturing the Death Eaters to take them to Azkaban. She only felt someone picking her up, before she sank into a deep unconsciousness.

/Flashback ending /

Ron had died for her and actually that was to be her destiny). Molly had not had a word with Hermione since that battle, and the ohters punished her with throwing angry looks at her. Ginny and Harry did not blame her for Ron's death. To their minds, Ron died from bravery and they would admire him for it forever. They would never blame anyone. However, Hermione could not find herself not guilty, mainly because no one had told her she was not to blame.)

She woke up again in the hospital wing and nobody sat at her bed. They were all standing around Harry's bed and celebrated).. The Weasleys, Lupin, Tonks, McGonagall.

Flashback beginning

She heard voices coming from far away. It was laughter and jubilance. Confuesd she opend her eyes and blinked into the bright light of the infirmary. Immediately, the memories came back.

The battle! Malfoy, as he wanted to kill her and then Ron, who jumped in front of her. With these pictures came tears and with a jerk she sat up). At the opposite wall she saw, Harry lying in a bed and all Weasleys, Lupin, Tonks and McGonagall were standing around. As soon as Molly saw, that Hermione was awake, she swang her wand and not a second later, a Paravent had moved arround Harry's bed. Hermione saw her angry gaze. They would hate her, all of them would.

She would rather be in Ron's place. She sank down into her pillows with a sob and buried her head in them. She heard someone coming closer to her bed and yet Madam Pomfrey's reverberated voice sounded through the hospital-wing.

"Ah Miss Granger, you are awake again. How are you?" Hermione didn't want to talk now. Did not the stupid nurse see then that she wanted to be alone? Defiantly, she lifted the head.

"I am fine, so leave me alone!", she nagged.

"My dear, calm. The fights and everything were too much for you. Now, everything is again in order. Anyhow rest a little and then you are allowed back into your tower."

" Nothing's okay and I don't want to calm down!" In her rage hot teardrops were running down her cheeks. Madame Pomfrey tried to comfort her by cupping her arms around Hermione's shoulders, but Hermione pushed them away.

"I will bring you a drink for pacification."

"Forget it! I won't take it. I won't rest either. I only want to leave!" She was lashing about wildly and climbed out of bed.

"Miss Granger, please. You need to rest!"

"I DON'T CARE!!I definitly leave now!!" Her voice constantly became loudlier and she only wanted to leave the hospital wing behind. However this was not to be happening this way.

"You will go nowhere, Miss Granger! You now lie down virtuously on this bed and recover from the fight!" she heard Snapes cold voice.

' _Everything, but Snape!.'_ She looked up very confused and spotted her teacher standing in the doorway. At the same time more tears were running over her face. She only wanted to get out of there. She slowly slid down at the wall next to the door.

"Miss Granger, I said lie down on your bed and that's not on the ground there."

That straw broke the camel's back

" I don't want to go in this bed and I don't want to stay in hospital wing.I shouldn't even be here at all!", she said and to the end her voice became more silent. Snape was confused. What was she talking about? He insinuated Madame Pomfrey that she should leave them alone. He would take care of her. Completely apathetically Hermine sat on the ground, again and again picturing Ron's dead body.

Snape touched her gently at the arm and pulled her on her foot. He led her to bed and she slowly sat down.

"Miss Granger, you'll have sedation-drink now and you'll sleep a little", Snape said and reached for a vial, that stood beside a bed table.

"I won't take it, I don't want anything for pacification." she repeated hysterically and she pushed the vial out of his hand).

"Well Miss Granger, then we'll do it another way then."

He disappeared in Madame Pomfrey's office quickly and came back with a tourniquet, a shot and a small tube. Panic boiled up in Hermione, but Snape fixed her on bed with a muttered spell.

"I will now inject you a sedative. Believe me, it will be the best for you." With fast movements he pushed up her sweater's sleeve. Then he tied the tourniquet around her arm.

"Miss Granger, clench your hand to fist and pump, so I can find a vein. And now don't say no, because if you don't do it, it will be very painful for you." Resigned she closed her eyes, clenched her hand to fist and then pumped. Snape saw the bluish veins sticking out. He put the cannula onto the shot and pulled the sedative into the shot. Then he pierced her arm with the acus and injected the medicine.

Within seconds, she noticed a leaden tiredness coming up and she driftet off into a composed, dreamless sleep.

/Flashback ending /

She had had a breakdown and nobody was by her side afterwards. She had been released from the sick hospital wing and everyone demanded from her that she lived a normal life again. But how should she only make this?

Harry and Ginny tried to establish contact, but they had given up very fast. They appeared not to notice her pain and were complaining their sorrow, so Hermione withdrew from everyone more and more. How should their friendship look like in future? Harry and Ginny wanted to marry.

Not that she would not support them, but then, Harry would be a part of the family Weasley and the Weaslys punished her with angry looks already. So how would it be if Harry and Ginny led a marriage? She did not want to think about this now. She had to get through with the ball at first this evening. She knew, that the complete family Weasley would be there, and she was glad that there would be alcoholic beverages.

'_A few glasses of fire-whisky and everything is to be endured.'_, she thought sarcastically. She looked at the clock and surprisingly found out, that it was ten to eight. By eight, the ball started, and she wanted to meet Harry and Ginny before the big hall.

" This is surely going to be a super evening", she muttered to herself and took her small black handbag off the bed before she turned around and proceeded to the door. Slowly she stepped down the numerous staircases.

As she stood at the stairway next to the lobby, she saw Harry and Ginny standing already in front of the big hall's doors.


End file.
